Carl's Home for Imaginary Friends
by Bareback Jack
Summary: Carl gets an unexpected houseguest that has him feeling Bloo.


Carl's Home for Imaginary Friends

"Oh yeah," Carl Brutananadilewski said as he watched a censored commercial for Girls Gone Wild. "Maybe I should send in an application for a camera man position. Maybe I should send one in for all positions. Yeah!" He continued watching as he laid on his side on his couch that he found on the corner. "I think it's about time for little Carl to go wild too. Yeah, that's right. It's Carl time." He hooked his thumbs on the waistband of his dirty sweat pants when he heard a knock on the door. "Dammit." He got up and made his way to the front door. "What the Hell do you want?" He looked down to see a small blue creature holding a piece of paper.

"Carl?"

"Who wants to know?"

"It's perfect." The small creature tried to enter the house.

"Hey, hold on there little blue thing. I think you're lookin' for the freaks next door." He looked at the paper he was holding.

"No, this is it."

"Hey gimme that." Carl snatched the paper from him. "How did you get this."

"I found it on the sidewalk. Geez, what is this? Twenty questions. I'm Bloo by the way." Bloo made his way into the house.

"This wasn't for you. It is for a, uh, adult social gathering." Carl laughed to himself.

"All fantasies welcome. I've read it already. I'm an imaginary friend, also known as, a fantasy. So naturally I came here." Bloo was looking in the fridge.

"Yeah, but you failed to notice that welcome is spelled with a u instead of an...ah forget it. Hey what're you doing." Bloo was up on the counter searching through the cupboards.

"There's nothing to eat here. How am I supposed to live in a place where I'll starve to death." He kept rummaging.

"I think you're missin' the point here, uh, Bloo. You can't live here. I don't want you to live here."

"Finally." Bloo said as he found a bag of potato chips.

"No, not for you. Bad...Bloo." The imaginary friend made his way to the couch.

"I wanna watch a movie." He said with a mouthful.

"I wanna be watchin' you leave my property before I call the cops."

"You invited me here." Bloo said, spitting crumbs all over Carl while he spoke.

"No I didn't! Ah, never mind. Fine, pick out a movie. It'll keep you busy while I call the proper authorities." Bloo jumped off the couch and began looking at the DVD cases that were littering the floor.

"I've never heard of any of these movies. Bad Max, Beyond Thunderbone. Blazing Saddle Sores. Robocock. She-Man and the Masters of the Uterus."

"Put those down. Those ain't for you. They're for adult purposes only."

"Whatever." Bloo dropped the movies back onto the floor, breaking all of them.

"Hey. Those were part of a lifetime collection. That's it, you're gonna have to change your name to red, from the blood." Bloo made his way into Carl's bedroom. "Get outta there. That's not for you either. Stupid little blue blob." Bloo was laughing with glee as Carl entered the room. "No, no, no, no, no. That is a waterbed, not a..." Water rushed across the floor and soaked Carl's flip-flops. "Trampoline." Carl let out a long sigh as Bloo rushed past him. "That's it." He went to his closet and pulled out a shotgun. "A man can only take so much." He walked out side to find Bloo floating in his pool.

"I'm a little thirsty, Carl my man. How bout some lemonade."

"How bout some led." Carl fired and blew a hole in the side of his pool. "Dammit. I Only had one shell." Bloo exited the pool.

"A simple no would have sufficed. Cool car." Bloo rushed to the sidewalk and jumped in Carl's car.

"Get outta there. That's not a toy." Bloo had his hands on the wheel and was supplying his own sound effects. "You're gonna tear the leather. I spend a lot of money on my car." Bloo accidently popped it out if gear and the car began to roll backwards.

"This is awesome!" Bloo yelled in excitement as he began to swerve while rolling.

"The brake! If anything happens to my car, I swear to god, I will cook and eat you." Carl's eyes widened as he saw an eighteen wheeler heading for his backwards moving vehicle. The driver honked his horn and swerved, narrowly missing the car. The truck crashed into Carl's house and exploded, the driver's flaming body landing on the grass. Carl stared in disbelief as his car slowly stopped rolling. Bloo exited and stood next to Carl on the sidewalk.

"Thanks for having me Carl. Next time I'll bring some of my friends." Carl replied very slowly.

"I've known you for only ten minutes and all I have left is my car." When he finished speaking, a second semi ran right through his car.

"You had a car. See you later."

"I'll kill you, you little bastard." Carl began to chase Bloo across the street until a third semi plowed over him. Carl looked down to see that his skin had been entirely ripped off.

"Eeeww! That's gross." Bloo said as he backed away and left.

"Get back here so I can kick your ass. Skin or no skin, I will get you." Carl's car then exploded and started him on fire.


End file.
